No tea. No shade. No pink lemonade. 5

Lailani Clark

Hey yall,

Sorry, I’ve been gone for a while. School has been kicking my butt. But I’ve got it under control now. Due to recent events around the school, I feel as though we should talk about domestic violence. I want to make one thing clear before we get into this; ANYONE can be a victim of domestic violence. It doesn’t matter what you identify as. The definition of domestic violence is ‘violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner’. If your partner feels as though they can put their hands on you to get their ‘point across’ or for other reasons, they DONT LOVE YOU! I don’t care if they only did it once. Because if they do it once they will do it again. Trust me, I know. The message you are sending them when you don’t do anything about it the first time is that they can keep abusing you forever. But love makes people blind. The fear of being alone makes people weak and they blame themselves for their partner’s unacceptable behavior. No matter what happens it is never YOUR fault. Never. The people who abuse their partner have self-control they just refuse to use it. Also, let’s talk about the people outside of the relationship. I hate when people tell you “Oh I would’ve..” or “Why didn’t you just…” those people are really insensitive, to me at least; because those people are not in that situation so there is no tell what they would have done until they experience something like that. Cause’ no tea, no shade, no pink lemonade when it first happens you’re going to be shocked. You will sit there for a second and think in your head “Wow, they really just hit me” and if there is bleeding you check your face as a kind of reassurance. Now what happens after that differs with each person. When it happened to me, I just cried; because I was hurt physically and emotionally. The person I loved so dearly hurt me. Now I know some people who called their family and they helped them out. But I didn’t do that because I felt like that was how he showed me love and it was my fault. At the end of the day, physical, verbal, and emotional abuse is NOT love. If you or anyone you know is being abused by their partner please tell a trusted adult or call the domestic violence hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Until next time, sending you love, Lailani.